Why am I still grieving?
In the days and weeks after a loss, people often ask how you’re faring. But as time passes, they slowly begin to stop asking, despite how much grief you may still be carrying. What may have once been surrounded by support and community can begin to feel deeply isolating.
No matter the specific details surrounding your loss, the grieving process can include responses that many people experience. Dr. Elisabeth Kübler-Ross’s 1969 five-stage model described responses to dying: denial, anger, bargaining, depression, and acceptance. The seven responses below reflect a later Kübler-Ross Change Curve adaptation. Grief has no required sequence: responses can overlap, recur, or not occur at all.
Many people experience shock or disbelief after a loss.
There can be a tendency to avoid, consciously or unconsciously, accepting the reality of the loss, which is often described as denial.
As people begin to acknowledge how this change has impacted their lives, frustration and anger can emerge.
Anger can also mask other emotions; in the context of grief, what lies beneath anger is often depression. Feelings of depression may surface many times throughout the grief journey.
There may also be periods of experimentation, where someone tries new techniques for navigating this new stage of life.
Individuals may also engage in conscious decision making, determining and committing to new ways of living.
Integration can involve adapting and finding ways to live with the loss.
Adapting to life with grief doesn’t diminish the significance of the loss. It does, however, allow life to continue. No longer feeling frozen in time.
If you’d like support throughout the grieving process, or if your grief has impacted your relationships, work, or school functioning, reach out for help. At New Leaf Psych, we utilize evidence‑based practices to support you through this life‑changing period. Our approach to grief counseling is grounded, compassionate, and tailored to help you navigate life after loss.
Elisabeth Kübler-Ross Foundation. (n.d.). Five Stages of Grief.
Elisabeth Kübler-Ross Foundation. (n.d.). Kübler-Ross Change Curve®.